Vanisher + Chaser

This result reflects a primary Vanisher pattern, with Chaser tendencies as a secondary survival strategy. Your nervous system is wired to seek space — but underneath the distance you create, there’s often a conflicting urge to reconnect, fix, or seek reassurance when things feel off.

At the core, the Vanisher is driven by emotional withdrawal. You instinctively pull back when things get intense — not because you don’t care, but because caring feels risky. Vulnerability has often meant pressure, engulfment, or unspoken expectations. So you create distance. You don’t open up easily, and when you do, you’re careful about how much you share. You may come off as elusive or hard to read, but that’s not the full story. You’ve just learned to survive closeness by managing your exposure to it.

Layered beneath that is your secondary pattern — the Chaser. While your default is to disengage, there are moments when the silence becomes too loud, or the disconnect starts to feel like a threat. That’s when the Chaser emerges. You might send a message to test the waters, explain yourself, or try to clear the air — but not necessarily to deepen connection. Often, the reach-out is less about intimacy and more about managing your anxiety around disconnection. The moment things start to feel too vulnerable again, you retreat.

Together, this pairing can feel like an internal standoff: one part of you wants space, the other fears the cost of too much of it. You might ghost someone, then regret it. You might pull back, then panic when they stop reaching out. You’re not flaky — you’re fragmented. Split between two opposing survival strategies that both stem from the same wound: the fear that you’re not safe in connection, but also not safe without it.

✨ The good news? These patterns are protective, not permanent. You don’t have to oscillate between disappearing and chasing. You can learn to stay — with yourself first, and eventually, with others — without abandoning your need for autonomy.

This quiz result is your first step in understanding the Vanisher + Chaser dynamic.

Start with the Vanisher ebook — a 60+ page guide that helps you explore the roots of emotional withdrawal, soothe the overwhelm that closeness can bring, and learn how to engage without losing yourself.

When you're ready, the Chaser ebook will support you in calming relational urgency, interrupting pursuit cycles, and reclaiming steady connection from a grounded, self-led place.